Introduction to the Episode
Hello everyone and welcome to 2025. Today on the podcast. I’m going to talk about this interesting phenomenon of not being able to fall asleep until right before you have to get up. Or having the best sleep of the night right before the alarm just happens to go off. But before I get going on that, I want to talk a bit about the MBS mentorship because it’s evolving and I’m always looking for ways to grow and simplify this process of recovery.
What is the MBS Mentorship?
For anyone not familiar with the mentorship I offer a 3-month program for people with insomnia that really has been my love child over the last two and half years of my life. I created it back in 2022 and what I’ve found, after working with almost 300 beautiful people, is that while most of the struggles with insomnia are pretty universal, the way people like to get and implement information is different. Some people like the support and community of a group. Some people are more self-directed and just want to know they have the ability to ask questions whenever they want if needed. And some people just want the curriculum and that’s good enough for them — there really is no right or wrong way to approach it.
Why I Love the Program
Now, I’m a pretty biased because I really love my program, but I think each one of the components in the mentorship alone is worth the cost of the mentorship. The curriculum is put together in a curated way, so all the concepts I talk about on the podcast are strung together in a way that is highly digestible for your brain. And you own that for life. And a lot of times people ask me what’s in the program that isn’t on the podcast and at this point, I’d say actually quite a lot! But they’re completely different experiences with different intentions.
The Power of Community
The community is also wonderful because you realize very quickly that you really aren’t the only one struggling with insomnia and that some of the things happening with you are the exact same things going on for other people. And I think this really takes some of the pressure and loneliness off the recovery process because as much as we love the people around us and want them to support us, they can’t always understand what we’re going through.
Support from Coaches and Students
Richard and I are in the community every day answering questions and offering support and the other students often chime in as well with their lived experience which I think is so, so valuable.
Group Coaching Calls
And then there are the live group coaching calls every week. And this is a great time to jump on zoom and get another layer of personalized help. This is a pretty new addition to the mentorship so right now the calls are pretty small which is really pretty nice because there’s such an intimate feel to them.
How the Mentorship Evolves
So MBS is high-touch program with multiple avenues of support. And because the program is a full three months, the way people engage with it often changes. So maybe at first, they just want the curriculum or the group calls and then as they start sleeping better, it switches primarily to asking questions in the community and that becomes the best means of support. And then maybe towards the end, it’s just knowing that you have a place to go where people get it and that ends up being a part of the healing process. So all of the components are there for you if you need them. But I always say treat the mentorship like a buffet, take what works for you and leave the rest.
Exciting Upgrades for 2025
And there are going to be some exciting upgrades coming in 2025, but for anyone going through some hard times with their sleep, I can tell you after going through a lifetime of insomnia that it is not a death sentence, okay? Not only is it possible to have normal sleep again, but you can actually love sleep again. And I will always be ever so grateful for that.
The Mystery of Falling Asleep Right Before the Alarm
Okay, so back to the phenomenon of falling asleep right before you have to get up, or sleeping your best right before the alarm goes off. This is something that happened to me for decades and I could never quite make sense of it. Knowing what I know now, it actually makes perfect sense. But back then, I just thought I had some weird fluke with my sleep that I didn’t hear other people talking about. In fact, I’d hear them talk about the exact opposite situation, which was waking UP right before the alarm goes off, which is something that I experience more now. But I didn’t hear people describing this sort of nightly battle with sleep tossing and turning all night long and not being able to sleep until like 30 minutes before the alarm would go off, in which case I’d suddenly sleep great.
Reflecting on the Struggle
Looking back over the course of my life, I can see now just how much all of this kept me swimming in the pool of perplexity. It’s understandable why I thought I had a broken brain because that was my personal experience. It was all so bizarre and extreme and not one of the dozens of professionals I sought help from could really explain what was going on.
The Worst-Case Scenario Mindset
So of course my mind was going to worst case scenario. And I really thought if the sleep specialists couldn’t make heads or tails of it, and no one else seemed to be having this problem, then surely I had some rare disorder they just hadn’t been discovered yet.
Realizing the Truth
But you know what? That whole time, my brain was actually working great, it was just turning ON and OFF at the wrong time because that’s what it thought it was supposed to do.
How It Typically Went
So how this typically went for me is I’d go to bed, giving myself a ridiculously long period of time in bed like 10-12 hours, just hoping to get a few hours of that. But then of course I wouldn’t sleep because unbeknownst to me, I had this conditioned alarm bell going off in my brain whenever it came time to sleep. Which again, was just so bizarre.
The Clock-Watching Cycle
So then over the course of the night, I would watch the clock tick by hour by hour while doing math in my head trying to figure out the minimum amount of sleep I needed to survive the next day.
Finally Falling Asleep
Which led to more pressure, more trying, and a tremendous amount of mental gymnastics just trying to figure out how to get some semblance of rest. And all of this would go on until I would somehow blissfully fall asleep about 30 minutes before I had to get up. Or sometimes the alarm would go off and I’d still be wide awake, but then I’d hit the snooze, and that’s when I’d actually fall asleep.
The Key Takeaway
So, what’s really going on here? Let’s take the mystery out of this whole situation because it actually makes a lot of sense when you break it down. I’d fall asleep at the end of the night because that’s when the battle was finally over. The pressure was gone, and my brain would finally surrender to the idea that I probably wasn’t going to sleep — which, wouldn’t you know, was precisely when I did.
Surrendering to Sleep
Because honestly, there was nothing left to fight. The night was almost over, and my focus had already shifted to getting through the next day and how much sleep I was going to need that following night. But here’s the main thing to know—it was that act of surrender, or that little shift in acceptance, that allowed sleep to take over on its own.
It’s such a simple shift, but it makes all the difference.
The Role of Sleep Drive vs. Surrender
Now, some might argue that this change occurred due to an increase in sleep drive, which does play a role. But I don’t think it’s the main driver for such a dramatic shift; I think it was primarily the surrender state that comes from giving up the fight that paves the way for that natural process to occur.
Sleep Was Always There
So my sleep was there all along, it was just underneath all the resistance I had unintentionally created by taking on this big responsibility for sleep and thinking it was my job to make it happen.
What I Wish I Had Known
Had I understood back then that sleep is a beautifully passive process, I probably would have thrown in the towel much sooner, I don’t know. But I didn’t know that at the time. All I knew was that as the night went on, my brain would get more and more revved up—only to magically shift gears right around the time the birds started chirping. And then, just like that, I could sleep like a log.
A Reassuring Message
So, if this sounds familiar, or it’s happening with you right now, let it be a reassuring sign that your body does have the blueprint for sleep and it’s okay to raise the surrender flag a little earlier in the night — you might just be surprised at what happens.
Closing Thoughts
Your body knows how to sleep and that’s never going to change. I’m Beth Kendall, and thanks for tuning in to the Mind. Body. Sleep. podcast. If you find these episodes helpful, please do consider leaving a 5-star rating on your favorite platform. It means the world to me and it helps this information reach the people who need it most. Wishing you all a kind and gentle 2025. Bye for now!
