Ep 33. Why Did My Sleep Pattern Suddenly Change?

Have you gone from struggling to fall asleep to suddenly waking up during the night? Or maybe you used to wake up early, and now you can’t fall asleep?

What gives?

In this episode, I break down why insomnia patterns can shift during the recovery process and why it’s completely normal. Tune in to learn:

• The brain's intention behind altering sleep patterns
• Why changing sleep patterns indicate a powerful brain
• Personal anecdotes from my own experience
• The importance of not assigning too much significance to these changes
• How to view shifting patterns as part of the recovery journey
  
  

Join me as I reflect on Michael Jackson’s struggle with sleep and why there’s so much hope for long-term freedom from insomnia.

Enjoy!

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Full Transcription Below:

 

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About Beth Kendall MA, FNTP:

For decades, Beth struggled with the relentless grip of insomnia. After finally understanding insomnia from a mind-body perspective, she changed her relationship with sleep, and completely recovered. Liberated from the constant worry of not sleeping, she’s on a mission to help others recover as well. Her transformative program Mind. Body. Sleep.™ has been a beacon of light for hundreds of others seeking solace from sleepless nights.

 

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FULL TRANSCRIPT:

Exploring the Dynamics of Changing Sleep Patterns

 

Hello, everyone. It’s so good to be back with you on the podcast. For anyone just tuning in, I’m Beth Kendall, I’m a holistic sleep coach and I help people get free from insomnia and trust their own ability to sleep again.

Sleep Onset vs. Sleep Maintenance Insomnia

 

Today, we’re going to talk about changing sleep patterns during the recovery process and why it’s completely normal if this happens. For example, a primary pattern of sleep onset insomnia (meaning you’re having a hard time falling asleep) might suddenly switch over to sleep maintenance insomnia (which is waking up during the night), or vice-versa. Just because I’m talking about this common phenomenon doesn’t mean it will necessarily be a part of your experience. I just want to share a perspective with you that will hopefully give you a better understanding of what’s behind it and why it’s all just a normal part of the process. 

 

Michael Jackson's Struggle

 

But first, I want to talk about the Michael Jackson rabbit hole I went down last week. Don’t ask me how it even started, but I stumbled upon this Thriller documentary from 2023. It’s all about that album and the creative process behind it, and it was really fascinating.

 

And as I watched the documentary, I was struck for a lot of reasons. First, it took me way back to all the amazing songs on that album, which was such an exciting time in my life and in the music world. This was when MTV and music videos started emerging as a medium. If any of you saw that Billie Jean performance at the Grammys, you know it was just electrifying, probably not unlike when Elvis performed Hound Dog. I can still remember the feeling when I watched him doing the moonwalk and I think I must have been about 15 or 16 then.

 

Another thing I found so interesting about the documentary was the insight from Misty Copeland, she was one of the guest artists on the documentary and she’s a wonderful prima ballerina who still dances with the American Ballet Theatre I believe. Her perspective on Michael’s style from a ballet standpoint and how he was able to create so many iconic moves that we still see all the time was so fascinating.

 

Needless Suffering with Insomnia

 

But what struck me the most was how much he must have suffered with insomnia to the point that he did taking SUCH a potent anesthetic to sleep. It's just seems like such a needless tragedy and a terrible difficult way to live. I remember hearing about this when I was in the thick of my own insomnia and thinking, "Yeah, I totally get why you would need so much medication to zonk out." Everyone was questioning how that could be, and I was like, I get it. And none of this about insomnia was in the documentary but…

 

It's really unfortunate because he probably hadn't heard anything along the lines of the perspective I share on the podcast. I mean, I sure hadn't at the time, and I was doing everything I possibly could. But not understanding why your brain is doing what it's doing can certainly ramp up hyperarousal because you’re wondering what the heck is wrong with you. So, it did make me realize and appreciate how far we've come in terms of understanding and helping people get beyond insomnia.

 

Why Sleep Patterns Might Change

 

Okay, so let's dive into the topic of changing sleep patterns and what's going on with this, because I know from personal experience that it can kind of throw you if this happens. I had roughly the same insomnia pattern for over 40 years, and then it changed and I was like, "What on earth is going on here?" So, let's explore this a bit more.

 

Often, one of my students with say, sleep maintenance insomnia will tell me something like, “Beth, my sleep has gotten a lot better, and I’ve been able to sleep through the night. But now, for some reason, the last four nights I’ve had a hard time falling asleep. Why would that be?”

 

Or maybe someone who typically has a hard time falling asleep starts falling asleep much easier but then suddenly, they're waking up in the middle of the night.

And this was how it went for me, I’d always had sleep onset insomnia but then when I started falling asleep just fine, wouldn’t you know, that’s when I started waking up a few hours before my alarm.

 

This can be really perplexing, especially if it's something brand new that’s never been a part of your pattern before but it's actually so common for hyperarousal to shape-shift in new and interesting ways once you’re on the recovery path, all with the intention of keeping you safe and aware of the perceived threat of not sleeping.

 

Responding to Changing Patterns

 

And of course, the natural tendency when this happens is to want to figure it out, right? Our brains want to know what’s going on, especially if there’s been some decent sleep and that’s on the line, because when you’re in it, you really feel like you can lose that or you’ve got to protect that, I remember this feeling oh so well. So then when the sleep pattern changes, it’s like, oh, now I’ve got this NEW problem to contend with. But that’s really not the case.  

 

And again, I think it's always helpful to understand where this is coming from. And of course, it's always coming from a place of safety and survival.

 

The Brain's Role

 

It’s almost like the brain starts to notice you're more indifferent to the original pattern. You’re not as worried about it, you start seeing some changes in your life and in your sleep. You have hope, so you’re taking your focus off sleep and engaging with life.

 

Which of course is right about when hyperarousal decides to get creative and come through the side door. I always say it’s fear showing up in a new pair of shoes because it really wants to get your attention in a new way to let you know that “hey man , I am really not too sure that it’s safe for you to engage with life and take your attention off of sleep because there’s this looming threat of not sleeping.“ So I’m just going to change form completely, and send you some signals that way.

 

Aren’t our brains amazing.

 

So, it’s fear showing up in a new pair of shoes just hoping you won’t notice the disguise.

 

So what can we do about this?

 

You’ll often hear me say it's not the pattern itself as much as it is the significance or the meaning we assign to it that shapes how it plays out in our life.

 

Just knowing that these patterns come from a protective place can help shape your perspective on why it’s happening. It’s a sign of a very loving and powerful brain that is looking out for you. And the more we can allow the pattern to be there, the more we open the door for it to go.

 

We’re simply unraveling the ball of yarn that is insomnia.

 

Patterns Fade with Less Attention

 

Our more automatic response might be to put a lot of attention on the new pattern and keep an eye on it, right. We might want to stay hypervigilant about what’s going on. Maybe we start going down the road of trying to change the pattern or fix it somehow, much like we initially did with our sleep.

 

But this is actually how the new pattern can become a bit sticky, because the brain notices where we put our attention, so that can reinforce the new pattern which is built of a perception of threat and keep it in place.

 

Versus, normalizing that this can happen. Nothing has gone wrong. We’re not trying to break the pattern, or make it go away. In fact, it’s a great opportunity to teach the limbic system that it doesn’t need to keep showing up in new and interesting ways.

 

We’re not trying to change the pattern, we’re changing our reaction to the pattern which is ultimately what changes the pattern in the long run.

 

And the pattern might still show up for a while, but over time, when met with a little more indifference, or a little more okay-ness, it gets bored with the whole thing, and it runs out of new shoes to wear and doesn’t feel the need to send you these danger signals anymore.

 

So, if insomnia decides to do some shape-shifting as you move through your recovery, just know that this is a normal part of the process and likely means you’re on the exact right track.

 

Thanks so much for joining me today. Please do take a moment to hit those five stars on your favorite platform. I’m Beth Kendall and you’ve been listening to the Mind. Body. Sleep. podcast. See you next time…