Ep 62. 3 Shifts That Ended My Battle With Insomnia

Beth spent 42 years chasing sleep.

Until one day, she realized the very effort to "fix" insomnia was the exact thing keeping her stuck.

What followed wasn’t another hack, routine, or bedtime ritual. It was a complete shift in how she related to sleep itself.

In this episode, Beth shares three transformational mindsets that quietly ended her lifelong battle with insomnia.

You’ll hear how ownership (without blame) restores power, why the fixing loop is a trap in disguise, and how living as if you’re already free creates the conditions for natural sleep to return.

If you’ve been doing all the “right” things and still feel trapped in the same old cycle, this one will turn everything you thought you knew about insomnia upside down.

Enjoy! 🧡

Mentioned Resources:

Ep #3. Dancing With Insomnia: My Story (Pt. 1)

Ep #4. Dancing With Insomnia: My Story (Pt. 2)

Connect with Beth:

👉 Instagram 

 

Work with Beth:

👉 Start the Free Insomnia Course

👉 Learn About the Mentorship

About Beth Kendall MA, FNTP:

For decades, Beth struggled with the relentless grip of insomnia. After finally understanding insomnia from a mind-body perspective, she changed her relationship with sleep, and completely recovered. Liberated from the constant worry of not sleeping, she’s on a mission to help others recover as well. Her transformative program Mind. Body. Sleep.® has been a beacon of light for hundreds of others seeking solace from sleepless nights. 

DISCLAIMER: The podcasts available on this website have been produced for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only. The contents of this podcast do not constitute medical or professional advice. No person listening to and/or viewing any podcast from this website should act or refrain from acting on the basis of the content of a podcast without first seeking appropriate professional advice and/or counseling, nor shall the information be used as a substitute for professional advice and/or counseling. The Mind. Body. Sleep.® Podcast expressly disclaims any and all liability relating to any actions taken or not taken based on any or all contents of this site as there are no assurance as to any particular outcome.

 

The 3 Shifts That Finally Ended My Battle With Insomnia

For 42 years, I chased sleep.

I tried everything — routines, supplements, medications, mantras.

I read the books.

I followed the rules.

I perfected my sleep hygiene like it was a full-time job.

And yet, the more I tried to "fix" my sleep, the more broken it seemed to become.

It took me decades to realize that lasting recovery wasn’t about finding the right trick — it was about changing my "relationship" to sleep itself.

In this post, I want to share the three shifts that ended my battle with insomnia for good.

But First: How I See Insomnia

If you’re new to my work, this part matters — because how I define insomnia is quite different from how most people think about it.

I don’t see insomnia as a broken sleep system.

I see it as a: learned fear of not sleeping.

Sometimes I call it a conditioned hyperarousal, sometimes sleep anxiety — but at its core, insomnia is a structure of thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that create an unwanted stress response right around bedtime.

In other words: your body knows exactly how to sleep.

It’s the mind that’s gotten scared.

And that fear becomes a pattern — one that’s learned, repeated, and reinforced over time.

Shift #1 — Taking Ownership (Without Blame)

This was a serious turning point.

The moment everything started to change.

It happened during a simple EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) session with a friend.

Somewhere in the middle of that session, I had a massive realization:

   > Insomnia wasn’t something that was happening "to" me.

   > It was something I had *unintentionally created within me.*

Not consciously. Not on purpose.

But through years of innocent misunderstandings and protective mental patterns.

If that statement stirs something in you — maybe even a bit of defensiveness — I get it.

Because I once threw a Kleenex box across the room when a doctor told me I had “sleep anxiety.”

There was no empathy, no explanation — just some cold words.

And all my brain heard was: “You’re doing this to yourself.”

(So that didn’t go over too well.)

But what I’ve learned since then is this:

Taking ownership isn’t the same as taking blame.

Ownership gives you power.

Blame takes it away.

Ownership says, “If I played a role in creating this, I can also play a role in changing it.”

Blame says, “I’ve done something wrong.”

Ownership opens the door to healing.

Blame slams it shut.

That shift — from a victim of insomnia to creator of a new possibility — was the single most powerful energetic shift I made.

And from there, the next transformation unfolded naturally.

Shift #2 — Letting Go of the Fixing Orientation

Once I stopped seeing insomnia as something outside of me, I also stopped trying to fix it.

That might sound counterintuitive.

Isn’t "fixing" insomnia what recovery is about?

Nope. Not really. 

Because the constant drive to fix sleep is actually fueled by fear.

It’s built on the hidden belief that something is "wrong" with you.

Every sleep effort, supplement, rule, and perfectly timed bedtime reinforces that belief. It tells the brain, "Houston, we have a problem.”

And the brain responds accordingly: with more alertness, more anxiety, more insomnia.

I call this the "Fixing Loop" — and I was caught in it for decades.

I did literally everything right:

All the hygiene, the meditations, the rituals...

But nothing changed.

Because my actions carried a counter-intention: a subconscious message of fear.

Once I saw that, the whole game changed.

Fixing sleep teaches your brain there’s a problem.

Trusting sleep teaches your brain it’s safe.

The difference is night and day.

And as soon as I stopped fixing, I stopped feeding the fear that something was broken.
Which led to the final shift and the one that sealed my recovery.

Shift #3 — Living Like I Didn’t Have Insomnia

Even before my sleep improved, I stopped identifying as “someone with insomnia.”

I stopped making decisions through the lens of sleep.

I stopped building my days around how to avoid another bad night.

I stopped living on insomnia’s turf.

And instead, I started living like someone who was already free.

That one decision rewired everything.

Because your focus is the address in your brain’s GPS.

The fixing orientation keeps your energy locked on the problem.

The creative orientation — the one where you start living, creating, engaging — sends your energy toward what you "do want."

Carl Jung said it best:

“Most problems in life aren’t solved; you create a new you who doesn’t have that problem.”

That’s exactly what happened!

I stopped trying to fix the “old me” and started becoming the version of myself who already trusted her body.

The Recap

Let’s summarize the three shifts that ended my battle with insomnia:

1. Ownership — Realizing insomnia wasn’t happening to me; it was a learned pattern my mind could unlearn.

2. Letting Go of Fixing — Stopping the cycle of fear-based effort and releasing the belief that I was broken.

3. Living as Free — Creating the life I wanted instead of the one insomnia wanted for me.

The Truth About Change

These shifts did NOT happen overnight.

They were gradual, subtle, often invisible. The kind of change that sneaks up on you quietly until one day you look back and realize everything feels different.

Real transformation doesn’t come from control; it comes from trust.

If it’s possible for me (after 42 years of insomnia) it’s absolutely possible for you.

Your body knows how to sleep. It always has. And that’s never going to change. 🧡

Beth Kendall, MA | Mind. Body. Sleep.®
"Helping you remember what your body already knows."